Whining - Angry - Children -

Where do I even start.  I've been dealing with my son's angry outbursts for so long it feels like they've always been there.  I've tried ignoring, I've tried consequences, I've tried rewarding good attitude.  All to no avail. 

We went for a Neurophsyc consultation yesterday.  The Doc says - "Well I don't think he has a developmental disease like Aspergers or Autism, but we need to do some testing to find out what's going on in his brain."  He went on to explain that sometimes it's just poor parenting - wow now that sure made my day.  How many different reward, consequence, love & logic, cards, blah blah blah blah blah systems have I tried in an attempt to raise responsible children? 

Some of what he said was true - the boys know we're tired at the end of the day, and don't always follow through.  I feel like sometimes I can't remember what I said the consequence would be, or don't have time to give the reward when it should be given.  It doesn't help that the Hub & I are usually off in 2 separate directions.  He's over-the-top "you're grounded for life" and I'm trying to keep some sanity in the place. 

Now we wait for testing - not until 4 March (not really sure what we're supposed to do between then & now) and for the results - on 18 March.  I feel like we'll never have an answer or a way to have respectful, loving children. 

I truly love my children, and I only want the best for them - but I feel like I'm fighting a never ending battle.  Lord please give me strength and patience and let me love as you love me!